I (26m) am struggling with feelings for a girl (30f) who is not my girlfriend of 4 years (29f)

2021.10.24 00:12 MichaelBurnerWeston I (26m) am struggling with feelings for a girl (30f) who is not my girlfriend of 4 years (29f)

First of all, obligatory this is a burner account, I incisors don't want this in any way whatsoever to be limited to my identity in a way either girl involved can find out.
So my problem is this, I am in a long term relationship with a girl, coming up on 5 years now, who I very much love and intend to spend the rest of my life with. I have not, nor do I ever want to cheat on her, and I can't imagine a life without her despite the many things that come between us, many of which are behavioral issues on her part, and judgemental issues in mine. To explain, she's incredibly overbearing, acting sometimes like a sheltering parent who would wipe their kid's ass if she could get away with it, and she has the temper of a child, snapping off or completely breaking down into an incoherent mess over things that to me seem trivial, or sometimes even as bad as inconvenient.
After reading that line you may have already guessed the other issue between us, I am a very shallow, judgemental, and inconsiderate person by my very nature, though I try to be better since I'm aware of it. My main way of keeping these negative traits at bay is that I am incredibly patient, or maybe I just keep all my frustration and judgements to myself rather than let it out and address certain issues. I think that might actually be a defense mechanism of mine, one to deal with my very short tempered and impatient mother maybe. It seems I'm always too afraid of the consequences to call something out, and I don't want a fight, so I won't say "stop doing that annoying thing" or "toughen up, that was nothing" no matter how much it bothers me. In the end I'm not sure if this patience is a good thing or not actually.
Now for the meat and potatoes of this post, girl number 2. This girl, a coworker of mine, and someone who I would likely never spend any real amount of time around otherwise, I've kinda fallen for. She is the complete opposite in nearly every way of my girlfriend, which makes me wonder if that has something to do with it. But she's quiet, calm, patient, mature, and more than a few dress sizes smaller. When I'm around her, I sweat a ton, I sometimes find myself unable to hold back an uncontrollable laugh or smile for basically no reason, and every little thing about her from her silly body movements when she's bored to the phrases she utters out often as part of the job melt my heart. I also get incredibly jealous any time any of my make coworkers approach her or she does anything nice for her. I'm pretty confident I get away with it because I nervous laugh over little things, I'm a sweaty Italian with a labor intensive job, and before mentioned patience/ keeping things to myself, plus she is by her own admission cartoonishly oblivious to other people's interest in her. We also make a TON of small talk, wasting hours away on slow days and weekends just bonding basically. I feel like I know more about get than i do my step-dad who's been in my family for ten years. And I always get excited when I see her, and I constantly think about her (identifying features that have been redacted for privacy reasons). All of this is fine and dandy except for the fact there's a solid 100% chance it's not gonna happen.
The thing is, I'm NOT breaking up with or cheating on the girl I'm with, and I'm not interested in a polyamourous relationship, like either of the girls would be either. There's also the two major issues that this girl is eventually going to leave the area to further her own career when she graduates school, and she's... she says she's bi but empirical evidence leans more towards her being gay and only saying bi because she'snot completely sure of herself. This existential conflict though, is absolutely destroying me on the inside, I feel like absolute shit over it, often leaving work angry and depressed after seeing her, after feeling like I've emotionally cheated or like I'm making some big mistake. I feel so much like shit over this that I've created a burner account to cry to a bunch of strangers in the internet about how much of a bad person I feel because I can't talk to anybody else about it.
And I know it must read like I don't belong with the girl I've been with so long after an entire novel about the things wrong with our relationship and how strongly I feel about this other girl, but please understand I give all this negativity in isolation of the good we share together. The good isn't what's bothering me, maybe that can go in another post one day. I'm an emotional wreck over this conflict, and I think the right thing to do is just cut this other girl out of my life, but I'm not sure if that's just running away from my problems or not. Hell, maybe I should tell her how I feel, like all of it, how I don't want to have any feelings for her even, and see what happens from there. Maybe it'll scare her off and I'll have a clear conscience as a neat little bonus, I don't know. Only thing I can say for sure is I don't need to ask if I'm the asshole here, because I'm sound of mind enough to know I'm just going through normal human emotions and struggles, I just want support to deal with the problem, even if that support ultimately breaks down to screaming in the void, just getting it out makes me feel better.
TL:DR because oh boy this one needs it. With one girl, will not leave or cheat Like other girl who it will never happen with Feel like shit, hate self, talk about it to feel better Not really much I can do, made my choices already. Just wanted to get it out and maybe get support from others.
If you made it to the end without needing the TL:DR, thanks for reading. And since you clearly love reading, hit me up, I have a few novel suggestions you may like. I'm rambling now, sorry. Have a good whatever time of day your read this during.
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2021.10.24 00:12 ellfangor8 New Crossover Thread, Metroid Rebirth

Summary: Samus Aran returns to Earth from ZDR, only to find that the Earth she returned to isn't actually the Earth she meant to. She returned, instead to Earth Bet... a place she's been dreaming about since she was a little girl.
SB Link
SV Link
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2021.10.24 00:12 Morgan-992 cake decorating ideas 🎂🎈🎂

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2021.10.24 00:12 Ilikedogsandplants M/39/5'9" [173 to 173] 5 months of recomp. Gut is slowly melting away from eating better and heavy lifting! Aiming for ab definition by age 40(6 more months)

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2021.10.24 00:12 crazybout Ansu fati inform is amazing

Packed red ansu fati from rank 2 champs and decided to try him and he's unbelievable, plays way better than his stats and is one or the most clinical players I've used this year.
Chem style marksman
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Pace 9.1/10
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Passing 8.1/10
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Physically 6.4/10
Extremely good value and one of the most clinical players I've used
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2021.10.24 00:12 levi97zzz Unpopular opinion - It is easier and makes more sense to be a maxis, if you DYOR

I discovered crypto earlier this year, and I have been deep in the rabbit holes for a few months now. One thing I have come to realized is that - if you are to fall in the rabbit hole the “right way”, meaning, do your own research about different coins/chains, it is more natural and makes more sense to be a maxis than to be a multi-chain. If you really do your own research, it takes a lot of time because not only do you need to read and understand the white paper, you also need to deeply immerse yourself in the community to have a better understanding of how the community works, read different posts/books and listens to hours of podcasts to understand the context of why the chain is created, what problems the chain is trying to solve etc… Once you finished your research, it is highly likely to be a maxis in the coin you just researched. I genuinely think that those who say they are a “multi-chain” supporter has to have a very macro pov (hence, not that technical and more financially focused) and doesn’t do a deep enough research in any chains.
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2021.10.24 00:12 elcomodores1000 So much joy and sorrow at the same time

So much joy and sorrow at the same time submitted by elcomodores1000 to nightcafe [link] [comments]


2021.10.24 00:12 talhahtaco Storage

Recently i managed to get my first desktop, a prebuilt that was upgraded, used, and given to me after being replaced. Right now the desktop works fine but its storage is mostly HDD based and i want to move to an SSD based system, for this I wanted to ask you guys for what would be the best option
my current storage is a 250gb ssd and 2 tb hdd
I have so far though of 3 options, getting a 500 gb or 1tb NVMe drive, getting a 500gb or 1tb SATA 6 gig drive, or running a couple 250 or 120gb SATA SSDs in RAID 0, I understand the issue of loss of data but I don't have any sensitive files, this is mostly for steam games
i am no experienced pc builder but I can get some help if I need it for this.
Out of these is there any other options or is any of these more practical for a SSD based steam library?
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2021.10.24 00:12 jan_1111 [GA] - NYC - Free Vacation Food Blocks

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2021.10.24 00:12 sohowklo Hey how’s ur day? wanna come and play?

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2021.10.24 00:12 Different_Duck5306 Can I upgrade to VIP from ga+ at the festival with wristbands I bought from someone else?

Basically I got two GA+ bands from a person online and just got them in my mail. I know you can upgrade at the festival grounds but didn’t know if I could just show up with my wristbands and ID and upgrade on the spot
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2021.10.24 00:12 Senior_Mittens What website do y’all use to purchase rebuild kits for chainsaws? Specifically, a MS 261.

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2021.10.24 00:12 triple2ruga Mega absol adding 10 be online pls 9657 2054 5151

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2021.10.24 00:12 needanickname2020 Need help - nickname spelling regret

Hi all, need help because I keep going back and forth about changing the spelling of my 2 year old daughter’s nickname.
We named her Lorraine after my grandmother (we live in the US so we pronounce it like lore-rain and not the French loh-ren). We nicknamed her Rainee (pronounced rain-ee).
My mom suggested this spelling and I picked it because it seemed contemporary- so many trendy names end in Lee. When I did a Google search I found that I wasn’t entirely inventing the name, either - there are people out there who go by Rainee.
However, I have had spelling regrets for most of her life. Firstly, a lot of people spell it wrong, including family members and close friends! Rainey, Rainy, and Rainie are more common ways other people spell it. Also Renee.
I did not anticipate that so many people would see Rainee and mix it up with Renee, but it happens so much. They see it written as Rainee, pronounce it as Renee, and then start spelling it Renee, too! Ironically, French speaking people would pronounce Rainee as Renee. However, I think people do it here in the US because of how it is more common to see names ending in -ee and -nee pronounced like -ay. Also, a lot of words in English ending in -ee are nouns like trainee, employee, etc.
I am really torn about changing it. Fortunately, it’s a nickname so it doesn’t need to be legally changed, but this is how we’ve been spelling it for over two years now so we’d have to tell people we changed it. That still feels like a big deal to me.
Also, I am torn on the spelling. I originally wanted the spelling Rainey until my mom suggested Rainee. However, a lot of people want to spell it rainy like a rainy day and that does make sense. But I like Rainey because there are more documented cases of it as a name (particularly a surname). But Rainy seems intuitive but is also weather. I don’t really like Rainie as much for the silliest reason - because I think it looks weird - but so does Rainee - whereas Rainey and Rainy look more normal? I also like Rainey because it is six letters and her middle name is also six letters.
The few people I’ve mentioned this dilemma with in real life have dismissed it - “it’s just a nickname” “she might change it anyway” but this is what we exclusively call her. She will probably learn how to spell her nickname before her full first name. It’s possible that she’ll change it but she also may not and I don’t want to make things difficult for her.
Thank you in advance!
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2021.10.24 00:12 Keshia10289 Is this a red flag?

So a guy asked me "what separates me from other woman"? Is this a red flag and if so why?
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2021.10.24 00:12 zr2d2 We could play party games.

Like murder.
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2021.10.24 00:12 Lwong7903 Interdental Brush Review

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2021.10.24 00:12 Robosl0b The Buffy movie, Buffy series, and the Mandela Effect

I was recently listening to a podcast,,The Bechdel Cast, and the episode's movie was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Now it's been some time since I've seen the movie, but I thought I remembered the movie fairly well. As it turns out, I'd experienced the Mandela Effect with the movie's ending. Perhaps it's because it's mentioned in the first episode of the series, but when the podcast was recapping the movie, I thought it strange when they didn't mention Buffy burning down the high school at the end of the movie. I could have sworn the movie ended with Buffy burning down her high school; I was so convinced I could picture it [I could "see" Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry (RIP) fighting the vampires at the dance and the gym catching fire]. Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon?
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2021.10.24 00:12 kennethsime Showing off the goods

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2021.10.24 00:12 No-Seaworthiness3724 Ananya Panday

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2021.10.24 00:12 neptunespear8 H: an extra traveling leather coat W: to trade for other rare apparel

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2021.10.24 00:12 noobtheloser I may be taking my role as God King of Windsward a little too seriously. (Aarnivalkea)

I may be taking my role as God King of Windsward a little too seriously. (Aarnivalkea) submitted by noobtheloser to newworldgame [link] [comments]


2021.10.24 00:12 Ezada 'Ello

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2021.10.24 00:12 Jeanstobed I feel like this deserves to be here. Easily my best board ever.

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